Back home...in a fog...

Greetings all!

One of the perks of my current situation is not having any responsibilities and being able to do SOME fun stuff...this past week was about the best there is! On Thursday I got on a plane to the OC, my bro met me at the airport and we headed to Dana Point (south), where we met my pops for lunch and Julia from Catalina (via a boat), we continued south to Mexico...where we met the rest of Squid's family and proceeded to spend 4 days (literally sun-up to sun-down) on the beach...I love his kids so much, they are now 17, 12 & 10 and each a blast in their own way! I rode a boogie board in the VERY small, gentle waves and that was good for my soul. I helped my bro with his shoulder rehab and that was good karma as well as a lot of fun...there was much laughter, sunshine, swimming, alcohol, bonding, eating, bug bites, walks on the beach and NOT a lot of sleep...

Coming back reminds me that I really do need to figure out what is next for me...and that is scary in it's own way - HOWEVER, I will admit that after doing a little bit of digging and inquiring it's not nearly as scary as I imagined...I need to get busy and get the paper done and I am on the way to that - just need to sit and focus.

My shoulder is making strength gains every week and I must admit that I am pleased with the progress...still a lot of work to do, but I can reach up my back and over my head pretty well...abduction and ER are a bit limited still. I am not strong enough to go back to the SNF and am having second, third and fourth thoughts about going back there and having to be able to transfer someone...thinking about the 200+ lb new patient that I had to eval while I was there in Feb...I see my doc next Friday so stay tuned for that.

That's the tids and bits for now, gotta get to some sun and ride...

3rd time's a charm

ride #3 today! :)
still got a WAYS to go, but each time it feels a little more "normal"...shoulder holds up well, girl parts are sore and aerobically, i'm no where near where i want to be - but each ride is a step in the right direction AND i'm back on and loving it.
in san mateo w/ luna, the black lab, she is really good company and i am making extremely good progress on the paper, watching olympics in hd, sleeping a lot and the sun is out here! i feel blessed to have friends that trust me with their pets and a roommate that will watch after soxie...

shoulder is coming along, imporves nearly every day, a little range to gain and a LOT of strength!

that's all i've got today...x

150 Degrees...

...of ACTIVE shoulder flexion. THAT is HUGE my friends, when last I was measured, I had to work hard (really hard) to get to 125. It's getting there and any of you are allowed to remind me of that if I get mopey or bummed or whatever - cool???

xo - laura

LIFE

well... feel like the veil of grouchiness has been lifting, i can do more, my shoulder feels like it's on the right track, i have lots of fun plans, blah, blah, blah...it has been under wraps for a few days and i am starting to feel more like me, however it is not gone yet - sigh - not really sure what to do with that or to do about it...my guess is that as "things" (read: health insurance, paper submission, back to work dates, full ROM, etc, etc) get settled, it will continue to diminish...

that being said, i have had a lovely time house/dog/husband - "sitting" this week...Syd is fantastic company, Blondie is a love and the sun is out a lot more in Burlingame than in SF!  Although, I miss Soxie and my own bed - a LOT.  

Gotta run, early "get-up" in the am...think non-grouchy, focused thoughts for me...

xo

Back on the bike

FINALLY! it has been since about november that i have ridden my bike, dr. ma gave me the ok on monday and today was the maiden voyage. i am down the peninsula in san mateo, dog, house and husband sitting for a few days and the bike made the trip - i figure it's better to start on flatter roads and if the sun was out too, all the better. so, i made a date with karen from the pool and she put the bikes on top of the car and we went to Canada and 92 - bicycle sunday, no less :) a bright sunny day with a little breeze and off we went, no more than 15 minutes in and i'm out of breath (*^%#&*(^^@#*&.. it was fun to be out, the shoulder held up fine, it (along with most everything else) was pretty tired when we finished. We rode for about an hour and a half and between 12-18 miles...into woodside and the whiskey hill loop. I was gassed in a big was on the last two "hills" to the car...but gassed is a GREAT place to start! I hope to get out twice more this week.

The shoulder is making slow steady gains, it's pretty weak but feels like it's moving better nearly every day. I also got the green light to swim the breaststroke and have done that a couple of times too - also pretty weak and EVERYTHING is sore the next day. I expect nothing less tomorrow and will smile through every bit of it!

Namaste my friends.

Dark Knight and Other Crap

If you liked Batman Begins, you will love this one! My advice, make SURE that you pee RIGHT before it starts and don't drink during...it's kinda long. Saw it Friday afternoon with a medium sized crowd, it was dark and creepy and Heath will make you think that Jack was the Easter Bunny as the Joker...that's all I'm saying. SEE IT!

Shoulder continues to weigh on me, I hate not being able to do the stuff I want - blahblahblah - how many times to I have to whine about that one???? L I F E L E S S O N S ! ! !

I guess it's getting better, but I do worry that it needs to get better faster so that I can go back to work and certainly before my insurance runs out...that would be me freaking out - stop it - stop it - stop it...

Really sick of my paper and all the "help" that I am getting, I am frustrated with it, feel like the rules change every single freaking time that I get comments back....

Gray and foggy every day - Life is Good

Family-time in The O.C.

I know own not one but two new pairs of vans, with the assistance of my 17 year old niece. I have seen my nephew play baseball, my niece play basketball. I have had iced mocha's and a pedi with the teenager, had lunch with my mom and her new husband with my sister-in-law, had more iced drinks with pops and now the killer bbq chicken that my bro is famous for. I have hooked him on the tour de france, I watch the tape delay while sitting on a stationary bike and he joins me for the end with his newspaper and coffee...IT HAS BEEN FANTASTIC!

More later, off to watch a movie...xo

Patient vs Patience

VS

It's me against myself in this one folks...how hard can it be? Some days, harder than you can imagine and others it's a walk in the park. I am gaining understanding, empathy and a bunch of other "stuff" that can only be obtained by going a mile in someone else's shoes. My PT had the "check the attitude at the door" talk with me last week and I really, really tried this week...between that and a trip or two to the pool...my shoulder feels better than it has yet..120 degrees of flexion (180 is normal and a month ago I was barely at 90)...Focus on the positive; what is it that you CAN do that you couldn't about a month ago?

1 - Drive

2 - Get a swimsuit on (all of you out there, try to put a speedo one-piece on one handed...especially if sweaty at all)
3 - Actively get my hand up the wall

4 - Pull my pants up bi-laterally

5 - chop and dice things

6 - open bottles

7 - hands behind my head - feels soooooooooooo good

8 - tie my shoes

That's the short list for now...

Off to The OC to visit the family and practice some more patience....Later

Back to the Lab

Today's dissection was the medial compartment of the thigh, the adductor muscles, the inner thigh, the muscles that pull your leg to midline of the body...you know those machines at the gym that you sit on and squeeze your knees together???? THOSE are your adductors, they are pictured below...the thigh is fascinating to me and the parts that I am really thankful for the review of is where all the nerves run. The kids are awesome and smart and funny and prepared and ask GREAT questions...LOVING THIS!

Yesterday was PT, my arm IS moving better (he made me admit) and he reminded me to be patient and just keep working and being positive about what I CAN do that I couldn't do before...I love how he uses lines on me that I have used on my patients...I get to start pushing some weights...1lb in side lying external rotation...I have 3 exercises with theraband, the second wimpiest band...not bad and I do feel it...I got into the pool both yesterday and today, it feels really good to be able to move my arm effortlessly overhead (buoyancy of the pool is FANTASTIC) and the added bonus is that the chlorine is drying up the final vestiges of my axilla (armpit) heat rash. :)

That's all I got today, sweet dreams!

Jury Duty

Always an interesting collection of people in the jury room! I kept my head down, my iPod on and got a huge chunk of my paper done. I got excused for a "hardship" from two different juries - I have plane tickets to The OC next week, plane tickets are the definition of hardship. SOOOOO I get to have the whole mess deferred again until September...

An entire day to accomplish all of this, ah well what ELSE was I gonna do?

Rode Muni, walked around SOMA, the aforementioned paper, read some and that's about it for the day.

xo -

Catch up

Yesterday afternoon I went to a graduation party for my ex-sister-in-law who just graduated from De Anza with her RN. It was fantastic to see both ex-sister-in-laws who consider me their sister EVEN though I have been divorced for over ten years. There was great food, lots of hugs and lots and lots of stories. We vowed to get back in touch and re-connect, in keeping with that I mailed them this morning :)...I have to say that it's awesome to be with people that you are comfortable with, who know your stories and love you unconditionally. I hope that as I find myself with more time, post grad school, that this will happen more and more frequently as I strive to re-enter "real" life.

In keeping with the trend I then spent the evening with Julia, in San Mateo...watching a movie and a couple of episodes of a series. (LOVE that NetFlix) I slept over and we spent the morning just hanging, being with each other - coffee, farmers market, REI...things we both really enjoy doing, which allows for a whole lot of fun..."these plums are delicious", "wanna split two flavors of that?", "that's cute", "the cut of that doesn't do anything for you", "you should try that on"...

NOW, I am participating in some study avoidance as I really need to get busy on my paper and keep sitting down, opening it, looking at it, reading it, and then finding LOTS of other things to do. But, I am going to close this and GET BUSY!

Namaste my friends!

Classmates

I am grateful for them all!
But I had the opportunity to catch up with Sean last night. He had been golfing near my house and I picked him up and we came up to watch the Giants (my team) vs the Indians (his team - he came adorned in an Indians polo shirt and matching cap). He has settled into a nice routine of treating patients at the Cal student health center and enjoys it a lot, however he is about to embark upon his "mentorship" from our doctoral year - a 3 month course in PNF at Kaiser Vallejo. He seems even more excited about that! We caught up a bit and he shared some new treatment tips and info about a class he took.
He is a great guy and I am sitting here thinking about our years together and the things that I remember most about Sean: Arranging "wake-up" (courtesy) calls on the mornings of mid-terms - we started this the first summer and continued it through the entire first year, His supreme patience and thoroughness when studying - I leaned a LOT from/with him, His easy and ready laugh, Walking his ex-boss's cool dog - Arugula, He introduced me to Hahn's Hibachi and I can remember no less than 3 times when we went and talked through some bigger life issues - thank you Sean for listening, Helping me move - TWICE, and mostly His sense of humor and ability to come up with a story for any occasion - a trait that I aspire to.
Jessie joined us and we got burritos and beers for dinner, there was a rain delay so the game got a late start and Jessie was a good sport as baseball is not her favorite.

I do so enjoy talking about this new craft that we are learning and sharing stories and tips and techniques! We vowed to start, once my shoulder is healed, getting together to trade and practice treatment techniques.

I am grateful!

Sub-Occipital Triangles and Shoulder ROM

Today was a great day...gym time - followed by peet's and reading (6th Harry Potter and Grant's Dissector - prep for lab) - followed by some focused work on my paper - followed by an afternoon lab session - followed by dinner and shopping w/ Naj.

I love when I can spend as much time as I want/need in the gym - since the shoulder is priority #1...it makes me happy. Below is the current AROM in fwd flexion...note a "little" shoulder hiking and T-spine extension (aka - CHEATING!)

As one of my summer projects, I have been reading the HP series in order and I am nearly done. It is fun and if you have not done it AND you are a fan, I suggest it...it fills in blanks

The afternoon in the lab was quite rewarding, I felt like I proved myself to the kids and to myself. I helped a couple of tables to locate and dissect their SO triangles...also see below...they are the deepest posterior (back-side) muscles in the upper cervical spine (neck)...

That's it for now...take care...stay warm...

Weekend and San Francisco Weather

This was a fun weekend, in no particular order I got to: get into the pool for the first time since November, see all my swim buddies, help a friend buy a bike, walk around Lake Merced, spend to dramatically different afternoons at China Beach and sleep in. It was all fantastic and good for my soul - although, no writing on my paper, that WILL begin in earnest this week - do you hear that Universe?

So Saturday afternoon at CB, it was warm and sunshiny even at 4pm. I talked with SwimDaddy for about 2 hours...one on one...mostly about shoulders, but some basic shooting of the breeze as well. We stood knee deep in the love of the ocean for most of it. :)

Today was an entirely different story, got there at 2pm and had on 4 layers with the top being a fleece, wind-proof vest...I was very comfortable. It was a memorial bbq for a gent that I had not known...at its peak there were probably about 75-80 people there and FOOD...and DRINK...and an ACCORDIAN...and LOTS of love...and the most amazing vibe I have ever been associated with. I met a whole slew of the CB "regulars" (not just swimmers) and helped to prepare some pretty amazing shish-ka-bobs - yummy...4 hours of chatting - more with SwimDaddy - and sitting on the beach alone, absorbing the sights, smells and sounds of the afternoon...wow is about all I can say.

Now a bit about the weather in general, last night around 10pm the fan was REQUIRED to be able to sleep, it was probably 90 in the house...this morning at 8am, I could not see beyond the balcony! Dense, thick, wet, swirling fog had rolled in overnight bringing a 30+ degree temperature variation...ahhhhh, gotta love The City.

Namaste friends

Anatomy Lab

Has it really been three years since I was in the lab with my new classmates wondering what all their names were and how to say thoracodorsal? What is the innervation to that muscle, excuse me wtf IS that muscle...So on monday I became the volunteer Dr. Laura TA. I met the incoming class of first years in their first day of school as they first met their cadavers. I remember this day like it was yesterday and in many ways it seems like eons ago! They are smart and motivated and funny and nervous...I am thrilled to have structure to my weeks and somewhere to go to engage my brain and get to interact with smart people. On another level, it's a great review with no pressure and I am giving back in a way that I know they appreciate - as we did when there were knowledgeable people to help, ask questions and make us think.
I also went over to Moss Beach to see a video and sign some paperwork, it was really good to see all those people too and to reconnect with my boss - LOVE her!
Additionally I had lunch with the girls from Apex and went to Apex San Carlos to Mike G.

All in all a busy week, feeling much less overwhelmed and more like I have my feet under me.

The shoulder made some really good progress this week and I am happy about that.

It's HOT here in SF, about 100 earlier and still around 80 with the sun having set - I'm headed out for a walk to enjoy the cooler air.

Namaste my friends!

Overwhelmed/Overstimulated

So, I found myself being rather cranky and more than a little tired. Let me back up a bit...this week I started volunteering in the anatomy lab with 34 brand new PT students (has it really been 3 years?) and it was the first time that I had to set an alarm back to back. Also the first time to interact with anyone and to turn my brain back on...CRAZY!

You know how it is when you go away on a vacation and disconnect from everything? No phone, no clock, no shower, no pressure, no tv...well, it turns out that having surgery and recovering in your house is about the same - at least when you start to connect back to the world. At least in my world. I have to say that I have enjoyed the slower pace, the reduced pressure, watching movies and catching up on reading - but I was getting a bit bored. But this re-entry thing is amusing to say the least. I am happy to have figured out what was amiss and to be gentle with myself during this process too.

Freaking life lessons...patience...gentle with myself...self care...ok...I'm paying attention!

xo -

Chillin' w/ Luna

So, it's been some time since I did this...in the interim I have:
1 - Had a rather extensive shoulder surgery and got to wear a sling for 6 weeks
2 - Presented my EBM paper at the spring symposium
3 - Been awarded my doctoral degree
4 - Been camping in Yosemite
5 - Started going back to the gym...REGULARLY
6 - Subscribed to NetFlix and watched more movies than in the last 3 years combined.
My favs:
Batman Begins
Enchanted
In the Shadow of the Moon
Rory O'Shea Was Here
LA Confidential
My Least Favs:
Mr. Magorioum's Wonder Emporium
Stranger Than Fiction
Rocket Science
27 Dresses
Sweeney Todd
7 - Had to be driven round and pretty dependent upon the generosity of friends
8 - Slowed my pace of life considerably
9 - Rode muni and walked a LOT
10 - Read all the Harry Potter books in order...back - to - back
11 - Volunteered to help out in the anatomy lab and the kinesiology class for the incoming first year class, starting Monday! :)
12 - Spent a LOT of time in my recliner

For now that is about all that I can think of...I hope to update this a lot more regularly in the future.

Namaste my friends